Thanks to Brianna for the questions. Want five questions of your own? Leave me a comment with “Resistance is futile!” in the body and I’ll see what I can do for you.

QUESTIONS:
1. You often post photos of your kills from hunting. How did you get into
hunting, and do you prefer to kill & eat your own meat to purchasing
meat? If yes, is it for ethical reasons or enjoyment?

A. I got into hunting because my dad, my mom, and my uncle have been into it for years and years, well before I was born. The first time I went hunting with my dad (I only hunt birds, deer hunting is boring as fuck), I got a duck in the first flock. The rush was unbelievable, and firing a shotgun is fun as hell. It might just be a guy thing, but feeding people with the meat from an animal that you killed yourself is IMMENSELY satisfying. I’ll purchase meat all the time, but I’ll never buy goose or duck. I have that once a year, during hunting season.

2. Do you see yourself having children in the future? What kind of dad do
you think you would be? Would you let Dave be your offsprings’ crazy,
inappropriate uncle?

A. I definitely see myself having children in the near future. I want to get shit set up right. Kaitlin and I have talked about this at length. We want to get the proverbial nest built, then we’ll pop out a crotch dropping or two. Just like everybody else, I think I’d be the greatest dad ever, but I actually will be the greatest dad ever. I’m not an idiot when it comes to dealing with kids. And yes, I’d let Dave be the crazy, inappropriate uncle, especially since my kid would probably never see his real uncle anyway.

3. You currently drive exceptionally large vehicles for a living and seem
to enjoy it more or less – at least not HATE it. Also, work ethic is very
important to you. That being said, if you could have any job on the
planet, which would you find the most fulfilling?

A. I enjoy my job a great deal. The satisfaction of having busted my ass all day, coming home, and knowing that almost everything I own and everything we do is made possible by the work I do…well, it’s pretty fucking important to me. If I could have any job in the planet, assuming I’d magically gain the skills for said job, I’d want a job that keeps me traveling a lot. I’d still like to see the world, so why not get paid for it? It’d probably wear thin, not being home a lot, so I don’t know. I’m happy doing what I do right now, to be truthful. I don’t even really want a cushy desk job in a corner office with a nice view of downtown: my job keeps me outside and away from other people, where I’m happiest.

4. What part of the female (or just human) anatomy are you most drawn to
and why?

A. It really varies with who I’m with. I forget who it was, but some dude once wrote (and I’m loosely paraphrasing here) “There’s no shape more beautiful in nature than the curve of a woman’s back.” I couldn’t agree with this more. The sight of a woman’s naked back has always really appealed to me, and I’m just talking aesthetics. Sexually, the insides of the thighs, a few inches below the navel, and (of course) a nice pair of breasts will always do it for me.

5. I already asked another person this but I think it is an awesome
question: If your farts could smell like anything other than a fart, and
sound like anything other than a fart, what sound and scent would you
combine to create the perfect passing gas experience?

A. My farts would sound like an angelic chorus and they’d smell like Old Spice.

Very good questions! I enjoyed answering those. Fire me a comment, discuss my answers, and I’ll give you questions of your own!

As much as waking up at five in the morning kind of sucks, it’s a little bit worth it. I’ve learned to appreciate what’s good about my job, rather than getting pissed off at what’s bad. Example: I’m awake and outside every sunrise, and the sunrises here are gorgeous. The one I saw this morning took up a full third of the sky at least.

Second, my job keeps me up and moving around. I have never been in as good a shape as I am right now. I feel fucking fantastic. I’m stronger than I’ve ever been, I’ve got a real shape, and my wife digs it, too.

Third, my job keeps me away from people a hell of a lot more than most other jobs do. I can’t stand working in constant proximity to people. I start to hate them or they start to hate me, then shit goes downhill because I’m stubborn as hell.

I’ve posted about it before. I am fully aware of this.

Before I say it, I’m unsure how to say “One fact you may not be aware of”, since it ends a sentence in a preposition. “One fact of which you may not be aware”? I digress.

Something you might not know is that sometimes (rarely, but sometimes) things said on the internet will bug me. Probably the only thing to do it is when I hear about the lazy and the unemployed. People who leech off of a system put in place to help people who are legitimately in need of it.

How pride made it into the Big Seven is well and truly beyond me. I don’t imagine God meant that pride in one’s hard work is a deadly sin. He was probably talking about vanity. Or is vanity one of the Big Seven, too? I won’t pretend to know. In either case, I wonder how these people ever make their way through life without pride. How could you feel pride, holding your hand out every month, knowing that you didn’t work for anything you own?

Anyway, I’m being about as stumbling and awkward in my prose as I’ve ever been. None of this might even make sense to you.

I have a great deal of pride in the work that I do. I wake up at 5:00am every day, drag my half-sleeping ass to work, and bust my ass for hours and hours.

Hung out at Deacon and Erika’s place tonight. Enjoyed Kylie’s unwavering identification of my various tattoos. Kylie enjoyed my company until she peed on the floor, at which point she was sent to bed with a bowl of cheesy goldfish.

Played Army of Two and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 with Deacon. The modern CoD games just aren’t my thing, but I can definitely appreciate the quality of the graphics and the gameplay.

Erika joined us for a three-player co-op game of Splosion Man. Hectic, ’splodey fun was had, talkings were done, and cake was readily acquired.

Off to bed for me, in the hopes that work will go easy on me tomorrow. Excitement abounds for the weekend and the promise of long sleeps therein.

Also, lolcats:

I tried to jailbreak my iPhone yesterday. After the stories I’d heard, wherein the iPhone lights on fire, erases everything, gives you a severe frowning-upon, and is otherwise made to be generally useless, I was apprehensive, to say the least.

“Not so!” sayeth my wife! Apparently it’s gotten a hell of a lot easier these days. You simply plug in the device, download a program, press a single button, and the process is completed within seconds. Having procured the application necessary to “purchase” applications from the iTunes Application Store, albeit for the price of approximately zero dollars, I set about getting everything I had ever wanted.

My MSN Messenger client maintains a constant online presence (under the e-mail djinn_is_god@hotmail.com, which just goes to show how badass I thought I was when I was twelve), my Twitter application is now able to deliver pop-up notifications upon receipt of a direct message or “at” reply, my IRC client simply won’t log off (unless I ask it to very nicely), and my entire theme has been streamlined, minimalized, and otherwise made into something better.

It is a sad day, indeed, when it is discovered that the only way to make the iPhone do what I want it to (which really isn’t all that much beyond its current, un-jailbroken capacity) is to resort to a variety of l33t h4×0rz. That said, I am glad I managed to get it done right. My only regret is that I did not do this sooner.

My 1st Edition AD&D game was a bust. Turns out almost nobody was interested in it. I expressed some disappointment at the lack of enthusiasm on the point of others, but it did me (and the game at large) very little good.

The game abandoned, Kaitlin and I went out to Original Joe’s with Ethan and Sheena, wherein we had drinks, food, and a great time. We went back to their place after. I got second place in Trivial Pursuit, then second place in Mario Party, the latter of which I am convinced is a fixed game that simply refuses to award strategic gameplay.

Now I’m sitting around, drinking a coffee, and watching Ice Road Truckers. Pretty good Sunday, as far as I’m concerned.

I have a Tumblr account now. I have it pulling content from my blog, which it will then post to my Twitter. My Facebook page will then pull the content from my Twitter and post it as a status update.

I am more fully integrated with social networking sites now than I have ever been before.