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On Danger! the Cat and Impending Relocation - Definitely Alex [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Alexxx

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On Danger! the Cat and Impending Relocation [Jun. 7th, 2010|10:41 am]
Alexxx
definitelyalex.com

There’s this cat we found, you see. By “we” I mean “my wife”, and by “found” I mean “got after spending an hour and a half chipping away at my resolve with tremendous patience, skill, and unwavering determination”. She was the sculptor, her words the sharpened instrument of her trade, and I the marble slab, heavy and unmoving. I was chipped and broken, piece by piece, and by the end of it I found myself driving us down to the base to pick the kitten up. Funny how these things just seem to happen out of nowhere.

In any case, I went from marble to some sort of doughy substance once I saw him. His slave name was Fisk, which (I am told) is Swedish for ‘fish’, which seems somewhat appropriate. His new name is Danger! Mohammed Rakim al-Sayiid. He is, without question, the most awesome cat in the universe, the pinnacle of feline evolution condensed into a single squirmy little package.

It should be noted that he has an unending hunger for toes.

He’s taken on the (normally) tenuous position of ‘third cat’. I invite you to recall the last cat to occupy this position. Thumbs, who was also orange (coincidence?) disappeared one day. The circumstances of his disappearance are still under investigation. I’m hoping that Danger! manages a little better than his predecessor. I consider him to be the spiritual successor to Thumbs. Thumbs had some very large shoes to fill, both literal and metaphorical. Literal because he had extra toes, metaphorical because Thumbs was awesome.

Did I mention we bought a house? Oh, yes, I did, rather recently. The day we take possession looms ahead of us like some great looming presence. The hope is that my brother flies out here (on a plane, not under his own power) to help. The renovations (the interior ones, anyway) will take us until some time around Christmas. What’s strange is that as a child the thought of anything taking “until Christmas” (except for Christmas) might as well have just been “forever and ever, probably after you’re dead”. Interesting how things seem more attainable as you age. I wonder if there’s a word for that.

My entire house will be wired for a house-wide stereo system with satellite speakers in every room, piping in the latest Panic! at the Disco record or something. hrermore, both the upstairs living room and the downstairs Man Cave(tm) will be wired for their own surround sound systems. It has been a dream of mine to have the speaker wires hidden inside the walls, leaving me with nothing more than the speakers themselves affixed to the walls in the most esthetically pleasing manner possible. Friends, my Man Cave(tm) is going to be the most wonderful room in the history of interior design.

Things are looking up. Be excellent to each other.

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